The URL is: http://brynnabegins.wordpress.com

Hopefully I will be more consistent there…  (Not being in an accelerated masters program should help.)

-Brynna

Dust

What holds together

dead bugs and old books

until

A touch

Crumbles senescent fibers into dust?

Dust that sits invisible until company visits.

I swab the silver sugar bowl and

Take samplings from door frames.

The couch is again a collage of clothes and dishes.

Kieran sits dusty on the coffee table,

his long cat tongue drinking tea from a mug.

Dust in the corners of the mug,

the tongue bringing dust to his mouth.

I live on the unseen side of blackboards,

where chalk dust convenes daily, yearly.

On their side is written, “You are dirt.”

Dirt that breathes, that writhes, that grows.

These, the innocent ones, our former selves

The selves that can say “I’ll try,”

when I can say only

“I’ll never stop biting my fingernails.”

Small slivers of fingernails that

disassemble themselves and become

the dust I sweep, the dust I accept, the dust I hoard.

Who gets to be the dirt?

When the sun daily reaches the crust of the earth

It says to the dirt, “Wake up.”

It says to the dust, “Sleep.”

Where I’m From

I am from sour books and incense sticks,

from Lincoln Logs and Molly McIntire.

I am from upside down bikes and pan-hot manholes.

I’m from bark mulch, from lost golf balls,

from tree swings.

I’m from promise rings.

I am from swimming pools and from ice plant stains.

I am from tree forts and from tree trunks wrapped

in Christmas lights.

I am from sister fights.

I am from Bullfrogs and Butterflies, from

Schmetterling du kleines ding¹.

I am from Minuet in G and

long-skirted walks on rainy nights.

I am from red roofs, brown roofs, steep roofs,

and roofs six stories high.

I am from lattice-top pie.

I am from Bertil and from Lynea.

I am from Uff-da!, Ris Gryns Grot²,

and My Lord, what love is this?

I am from a spin the bottle kiss.

I am from spritz cookies and Finish your dinner first.

I am from Oui, ça va bien³, from Solfegietto,

and from Karen’s dimpled left cheek.

I am from her widow’s peak.

I am from the insides and outsides of apples,

and from holding my breath too long.

I’m from no one ever stays.

I’m from I will be with you always.

I am from amor: Quien lo probó, lo sabe⁴.

But today there is news!  I had a meeting after school (well, actually, I snuck out a little early) with a teacher at THS.  He is a fairly young, fairly intense dude, and I like him.  He gave me some syllabi to look over and we talked about what the classes will look like and his “coaching” style with student teachers.  It all sounded lovely to me.  He teaches advanced sophomore English, co-taught junior English (this means there is a high percentage of IEPs, so a learning specialist is present), and regular senior English.  I have a list of literature to review or become familiar with.  Winter break reading?  Here’s the (partial) list:

1. Lord of the Flies - I’m pretty excited about reading this again.  I have only read it once, and it was in 8th grade.  I can safely say I didn’t get much out of it.

2. The Canterbury Tales – Only the introduction and two stories, thankfully.  I actually have not studied this piece yet.

3. Hamlet – Ah, Hamlet.  Read this in AP English my junior year of high school.  It will be good to review it.

4. All Quiet on the Western Front – a novel about a German solider in World War I (written by a German WWI veteran).  I’m very excited about this one, although I have never read it and don’t know much about it.

5. The Stranger – French existentialism at its best. (Also never read.)

Tomorrow is day three of my Anne Frank work sample.  Grading has been tedious but I’ve stayed caught up.  The hardest part was giving specific written feedback to every single student on the first journal entry so they will have an idea of what to do better next time.  Tomorrow will be fun – we are “speed dating” with all the characters from the play, and then we’re reading Act One: Scenes 1 and 2.

The worst part of student teaching is the work sample reflections.  There are a lot of best parts!  I have grown to really like the middle schoolers I have, even though I am still pretty sure I’ll like teaching high school more.

I just had a delightful little 3-day affair with this novel – a really easy, pleasant read for 330 pages.  It’s the story of a young man who loses everything and joins the circus, but the real beauty of the story lies in the way Gruen juxtaposes the young and old voices of the narrator, Jacob.  It’s an obvious commentary on the way the elderly in our society are relegated to nursing homes or “assisted living facilities.”  The story is narrated entirely in the present tense, and the chapters switch between Jacob’s 23-year-old voice and his 93-year-old voice.  93-year-old Jacob is still sharp in many ways, but forgets his age often and seems to be in denial about his abilities.  The way he describes shuffling in his walker, every effort moving him a single floor tile closer to his destination, is at the same time funny, precious, and devastating.  The real devastation, though, is that we see Jacob’s perspective as he waits for his family to come see him – whichever family member, that is, whose turn it is.

Jacob’s young voice carries us through the glamorous and seedy underground of depression-era circus culture, complete with plenty of elements we can only hope human and animal rights organizations have done away with.  And yet, if the authorities had known how many people got “red-lighted” (thrown off the moving train in the middle of the night) I’m sure they would not have been fine with it then either.  After reading Gruen’s story I understand a little more why circuses have such sketchy reputations – clowns and carnies are creepy for a reason.

The love story, while not the most honorable, is moving.  The love story between the human and animal characters is even more so.

I recommend this book, but with a warning:  the novel contains some very graphic “adult material,” so please, if you struggle in this area, try something else.

How many copies would I need to make?

For the 6 million Jews killed alone, I would need to make 94 copies.  For the 11 million estimated total, including Jews, Gypsies, handicapped people, Jehovah’s Witnesses, homosexuals, and others, I would need 172 copies of this page.

11 million is a big number.  It’s much bigger when you can see one of that 11 million and imagine it is you.

I’m beginning to write my Work Sample for this authorization, and I am planning my unit around The Diary of Anne Frank (the play) and the Holocaust.  So far, section 2 of my work sample (my unit plan) looks like this:

There will be edits, of course, and no one else has looked at this, and I’m new at it!  Those are my disclaimers, for all you very experienced lesson plan writers.  Suggestions are welcome.  And for those of you who take issue with the word “tolerance” like I often do (*please don’t assume anything about me based on this – that is for another post…), know that the school district used that word, and so it must become part of my goal.

Now I’m feeling self-conscious about my disclaimer, so here is a short tangent:
I do not like the word “tolerance” because I don’t think it is far-reaching enough – I think I would be offended if someone different from me told me they were “tolerating” me.  I would much, much rather be loved.

I will be teaching this unit beginning in mid-late November, so I have a little while.  That’s good, since I haven’t actually written any lessons yet.

Other news:

1. Eric got a new job!  He is studying to become a certified financial adviser.

2. I am doing Fantasy Football this fall, and I am SO out of my element – but enjoying it.

3. My running is on hold.   I had a good excuse for the first week or two, but now I have a little bit of time I can use for exercise.  Actually, I plan to start swimming on Tuesday evenings after I get out of class, and I’m pretty excited about that.

The leaves are turning colors and falling, the air is getting cooler and crisper, and a myriad other Autumnal clichés.  I am enchanted by fall every single year, and I’m always so disappointed when it turns into winter.  I’m savoring it while it lasts.

The biggest struggle for me so far has been feeling like I have completely neglected what I need to be doing in the way of hanging out with Eric and keeping up with my house.  Some of the most noticeably absent elements of my pre-pre-service teaching life are decent meals.  Convenient food is good, but I really wish I had the time to cook or even go grocery shopping!

I’m getting ready to start the fall semester on Thursday.  “Getting ready” means fighting the urge to stay up and sleep in really late, especially now that Eric’s home with me for the time being.  It also means I’ve been working out a lot more.  I had a little bit of a slowing-metabolism-wake-up-call, so I’ve been trying to eat food that is good for me.  I’ve been running a couple miles every other day and on the in-between days doing strength training.  Through all this I am reminded how totally not hardcore I am when it comes to fitness goals, athletic ability, etc.  But this is the best I’ve EVER done in the area of athletics, and I’m so pleased that I am actually capable of exercise since my surgery.  (Longer story than I want to explain, but I used to have absolutely no athletic endurance due to this condition — although not nearly as crazy as that picture!)

My class list for this fall is as follows:

Classroom Management

Action Research II

Special & Diverse Populations

Rethinking High School

Language Arts Pedagogy

Issues in Human Development

Teaching in the Middle

This is in addition to my Practicum – part-time student teaching at L.O.J.   I met my teacher, Ms. E, last Wednesday and I’m so excited to get started there.  The school seems so high-energy.  It also just so happens that the principal’s assistant is the mother of one of Eric’s childhood best friends – she has known their family since before Eric and David were born, and she recognized me from the wedding.  I got to meet the office staff, principal, vice principal, and a couple of the custodial staff.  Next week is the inservice week and I will be hanging out with my teacher and the other teachers in her team, attending meetings, and generally learning about the way the school runs.  The week after that, the kids arrive.   We have plans to try to get me up in front of the class teaching soon -  Ms. E suggested that if she teaches the first 2-hr class period (block schedule), I could teach the second or third after observing her.  I told her that sounds like a wonderful arrangement.  Also, I found out I will most likely be teaching my work sample during the Anne Frank unit, which sounds like an awesome unit to teach.  It’s especially cool that, since Ms. E is a language arts and social studies teacher, there’s a good chance the social studies curriculum will be integrated into the language arts unit.

Now to the shower and to bed (hopefully before midnight).

I chose The Great Gatsby because:

1.  I have a horrible habit of choosing to do things academically that are way over my head just because I don’t want to choose the “obvious” route.  A good for instance (and the most tragic example, probably) is my choice of topics on Richard Wright’s Native Son in 11th grade AP English.  I should have chosen color symbolism, or weather, or anything basic.  Instead I wrote some nonsense on the 1930′s black community in Chicago and their dependence on the church and how that was somehow symbolic (?)….  I don’t know.  But I got a C, because I didn’t really know what I was doing.

2. It’s a darn good book, enjoyable on the surface but with layers and layers of depth.  It’s all about how far you decide to go.

3. I’ve read it at least twice in the last few years, including an extremely thorough reading/re-reading for a research paper I wrote, which is currently my proudest academic achievement.

During this month off, I also plan to take a few little fun vacations.  Tomorrow Eric and I are going to Cannon Beach for a few days, and then toward the end of the week we will mosey over toward Rockaway Beach for Burk and Lydia’s wedding, which is going to be wonderful.   Also, next Wednesday is Eric’s 24th birthday!  I will post on that after the fact, in case he reads this and discovers all my secret plans.

(A picture of us at Cannon Beach this Spring.)